Water For My Soul

Today’s State of Affairs

We’re all slaves to something. Whether it has manifest as overtly malicious or subtly disguised as something good, it is harmful in nature and that’s putting it lightly.

We are all subject to the same terrible ruling of something else and whether we realize it or not, it is slowly killing each of us. We are masters over nothing yet claim authority over everything. Our fatal flaw is one in the same and it goes all the way back to the beginning of time. We wanted to be Gods. We ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and it made Adam and Eve ill.

If only we had listened to the only good and just Ruler, we would all still be free and spared as casualties of war. I hate to sound like the bearer of bad news, like we need any more of that in today’s world so let me finish with this…

This doesn’t have to be the way our story concludes. There is a good news my friends, it is finished, but only you can choose how it ends.

A Lesson In Burning Bridges

I was still learning forgiveness at that point, hell, I’m still learning it now but maybe I shouldn’t have told her…

Because she’s a smart girl, with a good head on her shoulders, but I dread she remembered! In shame burning the bridge and letting the embers smolder. If only she knew that now that we’re older the man that I am would still reach out to hold her.

If only I could show her I’m damn good at building bridges.

Actually, I’ve never built a bridge in my life but If only I could show her that it didn’t really burn…

Putting The Cart Before The Horse…

Walking With God in The Cool of The Garden…

It’s not about “Getting into heaven”, “Walking in victory over sin”, or “Being on Mission”. It’s about returning to the relationship God initially planned on having with each of us. It’s about worshiping and drinking deeply of Him and restoring life to it’s initial blueprint before the fall. This way; God is most glorified, we are most satisfied and sanctified, and salvation is more easily recognized and realized within the christian and thus more desirable to the non-believer. Heaven, mission, and holiness will flow naturally and in in more abundance when this is made real to the christian.

The Fire Must Never Burn Out.

Sometimes when I pray I just dialogue to the Lord. I say “to” instead of with because I rarely hear anything in response. And it’s usually just me venting and trying to make sense of things, however, tonight was very different. 

I’ve been very burned out on church and the usual christian gatherings that go on in my community lately and have been feeling bad for having a negative attitude towards “Christianity” because I don’t ever want to neglect or take for granted the people God has put in my life as my spiritual family but nevertheless very bored and thirsty for something fresh.

In my dialogue I was explaining to God and to myself that I just want to get away from church and prayer and bible studies and just rest in His presence. I know that some of the ways we learn about Him and grow in our faith is by reading His word and prayer and good fellowship but for some reason, right now, enough is enough. Take away sunday services, take away corporate prayer where we all secretly envy that one person who “prays really well” -What does that even mean!? They are better at talking to God than you are?! That’s stupid. Take away all the same songs I hear week after week after week and please just let me sit in your midst without anything else but YOU and ME. THAT’S IT! PLEEEAAAASSEEEE!! Or I’m gonna go IN-F*&@#$%-SANE!

And my final words verbatim were as follows,

“I just need a break from all that and to truly rest knowing you are with me so that I can actually go to church and engage in life with my christian family and not be burned out all the time.”

I took a deep breath and immediately without any delay I heard the word,

“Leviticus”

…….              .___.              ”Huh. That’s strange”, I thought. 

“Ok, what chapter?”

“Six”

“Specific verse?”

“Thirteen”

I got out of bed and opened my bible, pressing buttons on my phone to keep the screen lit so that I could read. I flipped through the first two chapters hoping that this would be a word from the Lord but not too hopeful about it to be terribly honest. I made my way to Leviticus 6:13 with very low expectations almost certain it would be some ridiculous jewish law that had absolutely no relevance whatsoever. I could not have asked for a better answer.

“Remember, the fire must be kept burning on the altar at all times. It must never go out.”   -Leviticus 6:13 NLT

Rewind a second… ”I just need a break from all that and to truly rest knowing you are with me so that I can actually go to church and engage in life with my christian family and not be burned out all the time.”

I don’t need any explanation. God spoke to me audibly when I simply lamented and asked for His presence. My friends, be real with Him and will be real with you. I am going to bed tonight hopeful that our God is faithful and that He listens AND speaks and that I am going to receive the rest and refilling that I asked for.

Abba, I belong to you.